dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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