She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
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How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
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I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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