she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
