When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I booty called her while she was in labor.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
