My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
