the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
we're so committed to being not committed
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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