it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
