i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So vagazzling was a success
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
