Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
