i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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