Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
