Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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