Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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