You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
