so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize