Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
