i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Randomize
