Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
