i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
