A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
