theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
