their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
