Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
