Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
