i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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