All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
