i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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