she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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