i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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