I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
