it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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