Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize