it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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