Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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