So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
