I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
