he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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