I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I've blown a few things in my day
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
