We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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