scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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