I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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