Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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