I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
