Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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