TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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