Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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