ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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