I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
