Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The air was thick with penises
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
