I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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