I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
