It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
how drunk are you?
Several
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