I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
3pm strippers are depressing
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
MIDGETS
????
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
