You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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