I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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