I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
