if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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