I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I need a beard to bite.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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