I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
