I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
