DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize