I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
sex in a hospital.. check
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
