I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
