you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's the barista slut.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
